some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
