Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
