I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
