I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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