Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
