My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
