In the future we'll all be gay
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
