So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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