I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
