Please, let me fuck your mom
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
