Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
