Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
