): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
