the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize