dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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