i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
