Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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