WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
