I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
