chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
