i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
