I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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