you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
