I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I have post one night stand depression
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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