he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
