1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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