In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
