Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i love accidental penises.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
