Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
