i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
