She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
