so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
