Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
