Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My pussy is not your playground.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
