first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize