your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
