3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
if you like me you must not know who I am
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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