In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
