i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
