I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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