you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
