Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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