I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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