Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
