I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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