So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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