Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
