Sacagawea was the original milf.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
