She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
