So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize