Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
