Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
birth control should be required to get into college
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
