youre lurking in front of me
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
