No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Plan B is the new Plan A
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
