I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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