i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
