You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
