Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
