he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
