his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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