Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
