So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
