I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
