Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
