yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
