I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
