So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
