is wine microwaveable?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
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