So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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