I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
