Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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