i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize