my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
