At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
