May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
